Blog Articles

Recently I went for my first in-person counseling session in years and the experience was mind blowing. After introductions, my counselor stood up and started drawing my family tree. As someone who is always rolling her eyes at everything new, I was ready to step out and leave. We went all the way to my great grandparents then she handed the marker to me and asked me to describe my relationship with each person on that tree. Two hours has never flown by faster. 

When I was done, she asked me what car I would love to drive one day, and I said a sports car. Then she said, “Every car comes with side view mirrors, and the rearview mirror. Those 3 combined are way smaller than the big windshield in front of you. What that means is that you can’t move forward in any direction you want without looking back here and there, but your main focus should be forward so you don’t crash. Your past is behind you but you can never avoid looking back now and then if you want a successful journey.”

Now this got me thinking about Kwibuka. Every year we are reminded of the Genocide Against the Tutsi, and we pay tribute to the victims but is that all? 

A lot of people when you first explain what Kwibuka is all about, myself included, are firstly critical. 

“Why should we traumatize the current generation with a past they’re not a part of?”

“How are people supposed to heal when we remind them of their pain every year?”

Now when I think of Kwibuka, it stands for the following:

• HISTORY WILL NOT REPEAT ITSELF

As someone who has never been involved in a car accident, why should I be taught to look back through the rear view and side mirrors? To prevent any accidents in my life. Rwandans do not practice Kwibuka to traumatize each other all over again. We do it to caution the younger generation of what we already have experienced so the past does not repeat itself. When you speak to the young generation of Rwanda, those born after the genocide, all you get is: The Genocide should have never happened. They sit down every year and understand how outsiders used years of programming to bring the genocide to life. You can feel how every one of them has internalized the spirit of Unity, and this is because they are reminded of whom to not be every year during the Genocide Memorial. 

• REDEMPTION

There are countries that claim the Genocide against the Tutsi should be called the Rwandan Genocide simply because there are Hutus who died protecting Tutsis. There are number of perpetrators who come out every year seeking forgiveness with one thing to say:

“It was kill or be killed.” If you watch the documentaries shared you will see that there are some people who use this time to apologize to their neighbors and are honest about how during this time they were afraid that if they did not participate in the killings they would be killed. Yes, there are heroes who chose to be killed than to kill innocent people and children but this time is a time of redemption. Those who come out honestly and openly about their motivations are forgiven and welcomed back into the society with no stigma. 

We give the perpetrators the chance to reflect on their actions, see the pain they caused, and commit to doing better, and showing the youth the better path. 

I know times I have chosen to do the wrong thing because I was afraid of what doing the right thing would look like for me. Think of the times in high school, university and other times in your life when you chose to do wrong just so you would not be picked on. 

What about someone you wronged and even today you have not gotten a chance to apologize to them? That feeling, when you know better, haunts you. 

Kwibuka says “We all make mistakes, some bigger than others. But here is a platform to redeem yourself and be better now that you know better.”

• FORGIVENESS AND HEALING

I read somewhere that hate is an acid that destroys the vessel that holds it. A lot of people who lost loved ones, were raped and tortured during the genocide get to hear their perpertators admit that they were wrong and seek forgiveness. Kwibuka gives survivors an opportunity to talk about what they went through, heal and realize that they were wronged. During this time the “Two wrongs do not make a right” is what you see being shared as all survivors want is peace, and healing. 

I know a number of people who wronged me in the most unimaginable ways and because they came back and said “I was wrong. I thought I was in the right at that time but that’s not who I am and I would like for you to forgive me, and give me the opportunity to be a better person to you.” 

It didn’t instantly happen, but I know I have forgiven and we have moved on. This is exactly what Kwibuka seeks to do. 

Kwibuka should not just be something done only for the Genocide. Memorial month should give us the chance to reflect and see where we wronged others, seek them and apologize. Once you have a clear conscience, you can begin to look for those that wronged you, and offer them forgiveness. Kwibuka means remember. Remember that no one is perfect, remember that forgiveness is possible, and remember that no matter how different we might seem we are all the same. So take your time now and then, reflect on the past, and focus on making a better future, and enjoying the present. 

“Man suffers for he is both the marble and the sculptor.”

 The greatest journey we must undertake in our lives is not one to a foreign land far away but one that leads deep within, where we may finally discover who we truly are. Happiness is a fleeting feeling, romanticized by the modern world as the pinnacle of life and affluence. A feat only meant to be achieved by those hiking Maslow’s pyramid. This delusion of grandeur has fooled the west into believing that by rearranging the material world on the outside, we will feel better, fulfilled and perhaps even happy. Certainly, something must be wrong with you if you don’t crave the latest iPhone, right?

 The eastern philosophy of peace and happiness is a bit more internal. By rearranging the stuff that we are made of, both thoughts and feelings, intentions and beliefs, the east believes that the material world on the outside will fall into place. After all, doesn’t everything exist first in the mind? So, how do you go about rearranging the internal systems and processes that need re-evaluation?

 For starters, desire is a great pointer. What is it that keeps you awake at night staring at the stars? To paraphrase Paul Buchheit, “desire is a machine for harnessing the power of self interest which can be used to catalyze change positively in the global stage.” Pay attention to the things that make your mouth water. I’m not saying this so that you can immediately start running after them. No! Your desires are a better pointer to who you are than even your thoughts and actions. This is because we do not consciously control what we want. We can control whether to raise a finger or stare at a stranger but we cannot control how we feel about the stranger. Taking note of this desire is thus a very important first step to knowing yourself. It can help reveal areas where you would flourish or those that you are lagging behind on.

 Reflecting on the same is very important. Taking the time to think about our thoughts and feelings may open a window of insight into how we function as human beings. Everyone is unique with our own biases and past experiences but by introspection we can at least trace these and identify them in the patterns of thoughts and feelings of desire that we have.

 It is only from the awareness achieved through introspection that we can truly know what we really want out of life and lead lives that align with those things. What are your desires? Why are they so important to you? How do you go about achieving them and leading a purposeful life? These are the questions we all need to ask ourselves every once in a while and only then will we be able to say to ourselves and to others that we are ‘self aware’.

Relationships can be the ultimate way to navigate through life. They give a sense of belonging, but regulating, nurturing, and managing them, especially in this month of love, is as severe as deciding to go ahead and have the relationship. Relationship management ensures it lasts as long as anticipated. But, like anything with value, you need some effort to do so.

• Mutual interest and respect

I disagree with the adage that opposites attract; for the most part, someone who wants to connect with another must have something they can bond over. Being with someone who regularly needs help understanding your love of a specific music band or your obsession with Louis Vuitton is not lethal, but it can be troublesome. 

As men and women view love differently, an ideological stance is that respecting and caring for each other is an unavoidable understanding in any relationship dynamic and means whatever was agreed on. This brings me to my next point.

• Boundaries

I used to think – because you love someone, you owe them everything; this was especially true when opening up about my life experiences. While it is not wrong to share points of view with the person you adore, there is a thin line between doing just that and, I dare say, “oversharing.” Sometimes, it is an unintentional trauma-dumping, and other times, a misunderstanding of what duties the significant other has to play for you. A hostile shove may be undetectable just because love is involved. One needs to know their limits; thus, when push comes to shove, they can stand up for their time, energy, and safety. Even when we want to share something personal and ‘deep’ to us, we must check in with our partners/ friends etc., to ensure they can listen and engage. Other people go through their own personal hardships, too, and we can’t always assume they will be always be available to support us fully. It is essential to have healthy boundaries at the onset of the relationship. 

• Roles and responsibilities

I had an interesting talk with a friend recently about how people’s personalities significantly affect how they view taking the ‘lead’ in relationships. I was fascinated when they asked who should be “in charge” of the relationship. I understand that every relationship is unique and that whatever the parties want is what goes. Some people are predominantly dominant and would subconsciously behave so for whatever reason. In contrast, others are submissive. However, there is room to switch roles and responsibilities- provided it feels right and that what doesn’t feel right is communicated. Communication is a key part of handling any part of a relationship, from navigating each other’s interests and how to treat one another concerning establishing boundaries and identifying what contributions each person makes in the relationship and how roles/ responsibilities can be created, adjusted and respected.

Managing relationships is meant for romantic relationships as much as for others. Being intentional about having healthy romantic/ platonic/ familial and even a relationship with oneself is one of the best way to lead a healthier, more fulfilling life.

In order to welcome a new cohort of Leaders at the ALU Rwanda & Mauritius, I would like to share some of my realizations on navigating life as a student and member of the community.

 These are the 5 most important things that would make your life simpler:

• Run your own race: Our education is mission-based and solutions-oriented; yes we may be in the same cohort but we come from different backgrounds that have influenced our perspectives on life. Hence our missions and paths in learning will always be different. Do not try to over complicate academia for yourself.

• Ask for help: You are part of the ALU community because of the impact you have made or intend to make on the community and the world at large. Although your missions, backgrounds may lead you on different paths, the concepts of learning are still similar, you’d figure out that the next person is an expert in the field you are working in. I urge you to normalize asking for help, from anyone and everyone; maximize on the human capital available.

• Explore: My greatest takeaway from ALU is that anything is possible, you do not have to stick to the same path whether it is in learning or professional spaces. The best lessons I had were not in the classroom but in the field, where I got to practice where I learnt from my peers and facilitators. Shooting your shots should be a reoccuring habit, some of us have had the privilege of maximising on the study internships & summer internships to graduate with 7+ years of work experience. And that has built a solid portfolio with vast experiences in several fields of profession, each time learning new things.

• Acquaint yourself with people & embrace diversity: When I joined the ALU community in 2018, I knew only a few of my countymates; I would always want to chill with them because we have something in common (culture, language). None of that matters, the reason why you are in such a diverse community is to learn alternative ways on how other people do hard things on other parts of the world. You will not always be surrounded by people with common traits in the world out there, especially in the work environment. I know some of you are going to complain about peer groups, I have come to appreciate their importance as they teach you how to deal with different team dynamics in the workplace. The skills you are going to implement to solve those peer group challenges are the most crutial in a team, having such is nice and you get to stand out amongst your peers who have never encountered such a rigorous method of learning.

•  Have a good working relationships with your advisor; facilitator and peers. Throughout my ALU experience, I have had support from various stakeholders. Be it assistance in academia, personal well-being and professionally. To this day I still contact my facilitators for assistance when it comes to referencing, referrals and other business that may bring our paths together.

Do not overcommit: You always want to have a manageable chunk of tasks on your plate, life is not only about academia and professional development.  So take some time to work on yourself, it is not a requirement for your to be on every call and event that is happening; although I would encourage you to participate in community building activities as those are very important for you to get the best ALU experience.

You in your refreshed state is the best you and the most productive version of you, burn out is not cool.

I recently read a book that talked about the idea of “turning slips into slides”. The author wastalking about how habit setting is the sort of process that requires constant – if sometimes fluctuating – effort. The idea of not turning slips into slides is about how mistakes and relapses are bound to happen when making significant habit changes to our lives. The key to maintaining change is not to let an incident of relapse (a slip) envelop into an abandonment of the attempt at change entirely (a slide).

The saying stuck to me, and while it applies to any change in behaviour, we may try to implement it, particularly regarding “I’m gonna stop drinking” resolutions. Coming to college was a strange transition for me. I didn’t drink in high school and come from a pretty conservative culture. So, coming here to the liberty that a college campus granted – and what that meant for party culture was an abrupt change. Fortunately, I’m a person who could talk to a wall for hours, so my not drinking or my awkward stand-by-the-wall status at parties wasn’t too hard for me. But it was for my friend, Emma*, with who I bonded about our nerdy upbringings, with super projective parents.

Last week, three years into our starting college together, Emma was telling me how she’s already giving up on her new year’s resolution to stop drinking. This was funny – mainly because it was still three weeks before the resolution was meant to start. She proceeded to explain to me that she had thought of going for a few weeks without drinking any alcohol. She failed not once, not twice, but on three separate occasions. She then sat down to introspect and thought about how she couldn’t remember the last fun day she had that didn’t involve drinking.

I thought about it for a second, and that’s when I remembered thinking about the book and the quote. Emma was around the end of her school term – where there were a million and one reasons to celebrate. And so, alcohol was just unusually available. Plus, she was aiming for such a significant change; it was bound that she would make errors along the way. The key was to keep and keep and keep at it. Which, I told her, and she said she’ll give it a chance. With all the nuance that comes with resolutions about alcohol, I hope we’re all able to give ourselves the grace and patience we deserve.

If you grew up in an African home chances are you experienced those occasional moments when a relative would come to visit and ask you as a child, or a cousin for a kiss or hug, and there was always that adult who would say, “give your grandma a kiss. Don’t you love her anymore?” Or the “smile for the camera, or you won’t get sweets”. “Dance for uncle, or you will be left behind when we go out”.

 I remember these all too well but I can not articulate the emotions I felt at the time, or how they made me see the world until I became a mother. I remember telling someone in the family that they are not going to force my child to dance for them or kiss them if he does not want to. In fact, I had a very strict rule against anyone kissing my child entirely… During those days, I did not even have an understanding of what that principle meant until I became a peer mentor on sexual and reproductive health. This turned out to be a little word that is not so little in humanity: consent.

• CONSENT 

Consent is basically asking for and receiving clear permission from another individual about something. Many times when we hear about consent it is around sexual and reproductive health issues but it applies to everyday life. As a young person, it is important to understand what you can consent to, how you can give or receive consent, and the principles behind consent as a whole. 

• CONSENT IS FRIES

If there is anything you must take away from this post it is this simple phrase: CONSENT IS FRIES. Although this does not mean the edible fries that go with almost everything, we must take consent as that thing that must go with everything. The FRIES here is an acronym for the following:

• FREELY GIVEN

Consent is something that you should give without manipulation, pressure, or coercion. The “yes” that comes after the  “If you love me you would do it” line is not consent but is considered manipulation, or coercion. 

• REVERSIBLE

Imagine you have agreed to help a friend market their business by shooting a video with them answering a few questions. Halfway through the questions you realize you are not comfortable doing the whole interview anymore. The rules of consent state that you can change your mind. Consent is reversible. The consent you gave a few minutes back can change according to your mood or present outlook on the issue/scenario, and once you explicitly communicate this, anything that happens after is considered a violation of your consent.

• INFORMED

“I did not know that was what she meant we would do,” he cried. We have heard this story a number of times before. Where someone gave their “consent” but it turns out they did not know half of what they were getting themselves into. It is important that as a person seeking someone’s consent you inform them clearly about what will happen, the consequences, and the risks associated with them giving their consent. As a person giving consent, ask clarifying questions, and ensure you touch all bases before giving your yes. 

• ENTHUSIASTIC

A half-hearted yes is a no. Most of us have experienced moments where we felt we were obligated to say yes simply because we were being dictated by society or our own cultural beliefs. By applying empathy we can understand when someone says yes but did not really want to. A lack of enthusiasm could signal a fear to say “No.” Don’t take that picture, pause that interview, and cancel that get-together until you get enthusiastic consent. 

• SPECIFIC

Did she agree to have sex with you or did she agree to come to your house? Was he saying yes to attending your poetry slam or was it to also have his pictures posted on social media? Are you sure that whatever you are doing with another person you have complete consent for it? These are some of the questions you can ask yourself as a person next time someone says yes to you. Then ask them back. An example would be having a romantic partner come over. When you ask them to come to your bedroom, you must not assume that they have consented to sex as well; they just agreed to come into your room. 

If you are still struggling to understand consent, there is a really specific and fun video on consent:

Tea and Consent

• AGE OF CONSENT

 Before even asking for, or giving consent on a certain matter, one has to understand what the laws of a country say about that person’s age, and their ability to give consent. In Mauritius, the age of sexual consent is 16, whilst in Botswana, and Rwanda sexual intercourse with anyone under the age of 18 is criminalized. This means that even if this person said an explicit “yes” multiple times, and you are found to have engaged in sexual relations with them, you have just got your “Get into jail” card. You can read more about these different ages, and laws from this page:

https://esaro.unfpa.org/sites/default/files/pub-pdf/lates_technical_brief_harmonization_2.pdf

The following groups of people can not give consent:

Drunk , Under the age of consent, Unconscious people

Can you think of other groups that can not give consent? Please share in the comments. 

When I first arrived in Rwanda, I was excited about the prospect of being an international student. But a few months in, I realized the reality of adulting. It’s only been ten months since I arrived, and the journey has been a rollercoaster. Dealing with academics, finances, relationships, choosing a career path, and the constant daily routine of being an adult can be overwhelming. Regardless of our socioeconomic backgrounds, we all share everyday struggles in adulting as young adults.

Maintaining Relationships

Managing friendships can prove difficult as an adult, especially with technological advancements. Keeping up with old friends requires skills different from keeping pen pals. Mobile communication technology has set a new baseline of communication by increasing the ease of staying in touch with our people but that development has been at the expense of improving our human skills, especially communication. Most of us have experienced awkward conversations that typically start with generic greetings like “Hey, how’re you?” and end with a generic response like “I’m good.”

Perhaps the problem is not about technology but our disregard for essential communication and people management principles.

• Time Management

Time management is another issue. My least favorite part about adulting is managing multiple chores alongside career development and academics. I’m still adapting to the monotonous routine of having to make my food daily, do my laundry, take out the trash, clean the house (especially if you can’t afford a cleaner), and take my online courses. If not well managed, these “chores” can waste your time and make you feel unmotivated to finish your courses and tackle projects that interest you.

• Finances

Think about the last time you spent your own money on an essential need.

In my experience, attending ALU means you’ve already been thrust into the real world. Paying for essentials adds another layer to existing stress even as you strive for financial independence through proper knowledge of investing, budgeting, and savings.

• Finding a Job

My previous experience with job hunting was challenging, especially given the search’s timeframe, as it’s part of the academic requirement at ALU. The first hurdle is defining your mission, while the second is finding an internship that aligns with your mission. Scaling both hurdles can be pretty stressful as a young adult.

All these stressors can negatively affect our mental health. Knowing how to navigate them is crucial to having a worthwhile college experience. Below are some tips and resources on navigating adulting in college.

 On time management

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzX9SG83U8k 

https://www.purdueglobal.edu/blog/student-life/time-management-busy-college-students/ 

 On relationships

 https://ecampusontario.pressbooks.pub/strategiesforacademicsuccess/chapter/2-1-managing-relationships/

I got a new job, moved farther away from family and friends than I had ever done before, and started living alone for the first time at the beginning of a global pandemic. For the longest time after joining ALC, my claim to fame was being that person in the wellness team who had never been to campus, her student clients left the island 2 days after her start day, and was working hard to get these same students to trust her to support them.

William Bridges defines transition as the inner psychological process that people go through as they internalise and come to terms with the new situation that change brings about. As much as I am a professional psychologist, I did not quickly come to terms with all of the changes that were going on in my life.

In coming to terms with what I was going through at this time, I was daunted by the amount of things that I needed to work through. I did not know which change in state that I should prioritise the most or which I was more excited about , I only knew that I was changing situations so hard and experiencing way more emotions than I knew to name. I had the personal one of moving to a tropical island that would not be speaking my language everywhere, I had a new job that I intended to deliver at and there was the collective global pandemic that was killing people and literally changing life as we knew it. I was dealing with recognising that my issues were huge because I was alone and that they were at the same time inconsequential in comparison to the world as we knew it ending. 

After a few months of trying and failing to build material for those “tell me about yourself” questions, intimately knowing every crack in my ceiling, and learning to live with Mauritian summer flies, I had to start to get my mind on board with recognising and being okay with what I was going through. 

Here are top 3 of what I got to doing:

•  Managing expectations

At the beginning, my expectations were high! I felt thatI needed to start making an impact and proving myself to the rest of the team immediately. I knew that this was borne out of my anxious thoughts but I was not ready to deal with that; it seemed like the only aspect of my life that I could control and control I did. Quickly my work started to suffer and I needed to allow myself to address my emotions, my needs and how the expectations of myself were only assumed, not directly communicated. I took time to recognise what my motivations were doing for me, understand what my team’s expectations were and then managing myself became easier to handle.

• Routine Setting

I could not ignore that my physical, emotional, social and economic situations had changed. I started to actually be aware of what had changed and then set routines around them. This meant that I would look at my day, look at what every aspect of my life needed from that and then insert them into the day. As a woman of faith, I woke up, prayed, then ensured I exercised, had breakfast, worked, took a break, then worked some more, had lunch and then talked to loved ones and then took a walk around the compound for a later exercise. Somehow the routines created some predictability that gave me comfort and then I started to feel good again.

• Boundaries

Boundaries are important for me, they teach me that there is a sense of normalcy in everything that is not normal. I ensured that I communicated my capacities, and understood other people’s as well. This not only helped me manage myself, it helped me also manage my relationships with other people.

I recently started to manage the wellness team and woah was that a transition! Thankfully, I did not have to start from scratch like in 2020 because there were some skills that I had built previously that helped me start at a different level. 

Here are a few more resources that speak to managing transitions. I hope that we the wellness counsellors are a resource for you as well.

Tips for a smooth college transition

Rethinking College: Alec Macmillenat TEDxMiddlebury

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lO1P6lCNnyo

How to survive the transition from college to the office

I have wanted to come to ALU since forever, the idea of being a changemaker and being in a learning environment with other aspiring future African leaders really excited me. Admittedly, I had a whole plan… get a summa cum laude degree,  maintain distinction averages, network as much as possible and most importantly, make sure to have an amazing college experience. I knew that achieving all of these was not going to be easy; we are here to do hard things, right? But I was doing really well for myself and by this I mean… I even got a distinction for Data & Decisions (that module almost drove me mad!).

 Overtime I started getting very comfortable with my academics. Someone I hold in very high esteem told me once that I thought that I had cracked the ALU code, it kind of felt like I had. I became content with knowing that I would not fail and focused all my energies on every other part of my college experience except my academics and it seemed to be working out well for a while.

 See what I didn’t consider was the fact that as the terms pass by, the learning material becomes more complex… I was too busy living my best life. I still vividly remember my first 50, it was like my whole world came crashing down on me. Fortunately, I was able to salvage that too and still maintain a distinction cumulative average. Nothing could stop me at this point, right? WRONG!

 I went into the following term with the same mentality and the confidence of somebody that had truly broken the ALU code. What I did not actively realise at the time was that I was making less and less time for school and more and more time for my social life. Even though my grades were great, they were not as good as they used to be and definitely not as good as I wanted them to be. I had this 1 assignment which was worth 50% of my term mark and I just kept putting it off; I mean it’s me, I could do it the night before and still pass. Well unfortunately, not this time. The grade that I got for that module is too traumatic for me to even share on such a public platform.

 About a week after I got my grade I received an email from my module leader for mandatory office hours. Me? Attend mandatory office hours? I was shook, so much so that I had to go for therapy before I went for the session, lol. At that moment I questioned everything, my intelligence, my place in my field of study and my place in ALU. Upon receiving feedback I was told that I answered the question wrong, I only correctly addressed 1 of 3 prompts… and I knew why!

 I had put off that assignment until the very morning of submission because I underestimated its complexity. During the time I had to do the assignment I did everything else except for it. I made time for my friends, went out, spent hours on Netflix and definitely took more naps than was necessary. I failed to make time for my academics and I paid the price for it, a very harsh price if I might add.

 Luckily for me I still had time and one more opportunity to fix my grade for that module with my follow up summative. I tried my best to do everything right by attending office hours and starting my writeup well ahead of submission and I was able to salvage my average grade. I definitely didn’t get a distinction for that module but atleast I didn’t fail it either.

 It was only through this experience that I learnt the gravity of how much I had been neglecting my school work and ignoring my own potential but more importantly, it was only then that I had to face the real possibility of having a retake whilst going into 3rd year. Had I managed my time well, I never would’ve had to go through all of this but in a very weird way I am glad I did because it reignited the dreams I had for myself coming to this institution. 

If you struggle to find your work-life balance (used loosely because we are technically only in school) then maybe these resources can help you do better. For most of us who are going into a new academic year in a few weeks, these resources will definitely help with your time management skills.

https://youtu.be/iONDebHX9qk

https://youtu.be/tgi4kS0js0M

https://youtu.be/GBM2k2zp-MQ

ALU is literally the land of endless possibilities, and if you're willing to put in the effort, the rewards are truly unbelievable! Personally, my leap into the ALU world has opened up a whole new world of experiences for me. Thanks to the incredible opportunities available here, I've been able to travel all across Africa on a weekly basis, rubbing shoulders with some of the most important people in the region. And the icing on the cake, I've won almost $10,000 in grants and funding! With all the amazing tips I've picked up along the way, I'm excited to help you make the most of your time on this amazing campus too. So buckle up and get ready to ride the wave of opportunity!

Tip 1: Check your emails every day!

Your email will become your most valuable tool when it comes to finding opportunities. Keep checking your inbox to stay up to date on events, applications, and more. I learned this the hard way when I missed out on a chance to meet the Prime Minister of Brussels because I didn't check my email in time. Don't make the same mistake!

Tip 2: Apply for everything you're eligible for, and apply fast!

As soon as you come across an opportunity, apply for it! This could be anything from a masterclass to a volunteer position. If you see the word "apply" in an email, drop everything and apply right away. I even set up a filter to highlight these types of emails in my inbox. You never know what doors could open for you.

Tip 3: Check the opportunity board every week

Make it a habit to check the opportunity board at least once a week. It gets updated frequently with new opportunities, and you don't want to miss out on anything. I make sure to visit the board every Monday and reserve my Mondays and Fridays for applying for these opportunities.

Tip 4: Attend HUBS functions

Don't limit yourself to events that only interest you. Attend all Hubs events, and you'll be surprised at how many people you meet and how many opportunities come your way. I've met people at these functions who have given me fantastic opportunities. Next month I'll be launching my own social media management company, and the person who funded me is someone I met at a Hubs cocktail!

Tip 5: Go to school on Fridays

Most Fridays, clubs, societies, or SRC hold events on campus. If you're in your first year, you probably won't have lessons on a Friday, so take advantage of these events. You may meet people who will help you connect with others, leading to opportunities you never imagined. Plus, there is always free, quality food available at these events. Who doesn't love free food?

In conclusion, ALU is an outstanding university that provides many opportunities for its students. But, it's up to you to find them. So make sure to check your email daily, apply for everything you're eligible for, and attend as many events as possible. Who knows? The next opportunity could be waiting for you just around the corner.

ALU has become a beacon of hope and inclusivity for individuals in the LGBTQ+ community, providing a safe space for them to be themselves. And you know what? With Pride Month in full swing, I couldn't resist sharing just how incredible this university is. From its welcoming initiatives to its unwavering support, ALU is a true ally for the LGBTQ+ community. As we celebrate Pride Month, it is important to acknowledge the diverse and inclusive community at the African Leadership University (ALU) in Rwanda. ALU is a school that is committed to creating a safe space for all students, regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation. It is this commitment that has made ALU a standout institution in Africa, as it embraces diversity and inclusivity.

The LGBTQ+ community has found a home at ALU, where they can freely express themselves without fear of discrimination or prejudice. ALU's policies, rules, and regulations are inclusive, and the school has a zero-tolerance policy for harassment, bigotry, and discrimination in any form. The school's mission is to empower and educate a new generation of leaders who will drive change across Africa, and inclusivity is an essential part of that mission.

ALU has fostered an inclusive campus-wide environment through various initiatives. These initiatives include the establishment of the ALU LGBTQ+ society (PRIDE+), which works towards creating a safe, equitable, and inclusive community for all students, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. The society hosts events, workshops, and discussions to create awareness, drive acceptance, and educate the community about LGBTQ+ issues.

ALU's staff and faculty members also play an essential role in promoting inclusivity, and they receive training on LGBTQ+ issues to help them create a safe and welcoming environment for all students.

Pride Month is an opportunity to highlight and celebrate the LGBTQ+ community's achievements and contributions, and ALU is a community that understands the importance of doing so. The school recognizes the struggles faced by the LGBTQ+ community, and it is committed to creating an environment where students can express themselves freely, be who they are, and not face any discrimination.

To the LGBTQ+ students at ALU, know that you are valued, loved and celebrated during Pride Month and beyond. You are an essential part of the university's community, and your contribution makes ALU a better and more inclusive place. Happy Pride Month!

You have probably heard the phrase, change is inevitable yet despite being cognizant of this fact, a good number of people struggle with transitions. Beginning in 2021, I relocated from my country to Rwanda so I could pursue my bachelors degree. I was very excited because it was the first time I was out of the country but also because I needed a different environment to continue with my studies. Upon arriving at the residence, I met a group of young diverse people from different countries across the continent.

One of the young people I met at the residence had the toughest time adjusting to the new environment. While most of us had some difficulties communicating with the staff as some of them could only speak local dialects, this particular person struggled with everything! Culture shock, climate, food, name it! He attended several counseling sessions but nothing seemed to work. His challenges reminded me of a time when I had to deal with a life changing transition when I suffered a tragic car accident that left me on a wheelchair. It took me more than three years to finally embrace my new life and during that process, this is what I learnt.

Embrace the change

Embracing change goes beyond recognizing the anticipated transitions to preparing for those changes. Waking up one day and being told that you have to be confined in a wheelchair was not an easy transition and it took a lot of counseling, therapy, treatment and even though the condition couldn’t be cured medically, the process was vital for my mental healing. This was a much needed process! It prepared me for the journey ahead and enabled me to finally accept the new changes in my life. Once I embraced the changes, managing that transition became much better and easier! I started going out in public and applying for various opportunities.

Adopt a positive attitude

Change may be uncomfortable sometimes but having the right mental attitude always makes the transition smooth. I remember after the first year with  the struggles in the residence, some of us opted to rent our houses outside of the residence in a community where we do not speak the language. Going to the market or even communicating with the cleaning lady was not easy at the beginning but I was determined to not go back to the residence, so I had to learn some basic kinyarwanda. This ameliorated my communication with the local community and made my transition to my new home smooth.

Believe in yourself!

Some changes may be scary at the surface! Take for instance being a student for four years, you have adapted to a certain routine, and after completing your studies you have to join the real world, and become self-reliant financially. If you were a scholarship student, the stipend is no more! This kind of change may scare some students wondering how the next chapter of their lives will be and where to start! This is where self belief comes in! In ALU you are equipped with a diverse set of skills that should help you to navigate life. But before you can even benefit from these skills you must believe in yourself! Believe in your abilities to utilize these skills, your talents, etc!  Believing that yes you can  helps to manage transitions

Prepare! 

The good thing with some of the transitions is that one is aware of them ahead of time. This gives you time to adequately prepare for them. For instance, transitioning from being a student to joining the workforce. One can prepare by equipping themselves with the skills that are in high demand on the market, polishing their personal skills, networking, keeping an open mind among others.  Preparations are key in managing transitions just as they are in other areas of life.

JOURNEY OF GROWTH: INTERNING AT THE WELLNESS CENTRE

Since I embarked on my journey at ALU, I've witnessed personal growth, but nothing has transformed me quite like the opportunity to intern as a peer counselor at our wellness center. This experience has been a continuous voyage of self-discovery and growth, and I cherish it more with each passing day. The wellness center on campus is a haven of well-being, offering a diverse range of holistic services, from counselor-led ALU ALIVE 1:1 sessions and support groups to our peer counseling program.

Seizing the Opportunity: 

The path to becoming a peer counselor at ALU wasn't one I had initially planned, but when I spotted the opportunity on the board, I decided to give it a shot. After a successful interview process, I found myself embracing a role that would forever change the course of my personal and academic journey. Reflecting on my experience, I've gathered some valuable tips to share:

Make use of the opportunity board

Most internship and job openings at ALU are posted on the board. Make it a habit to check regularly to avoid missing out on promising opportunities.

Tailor your resume

Before applying, carefully review the role description and assess how your skills and qualities align with it. Update your resume to highlight relevant experiences. Remember, you don't need to be a superhero; ALU values individuals who are open to learning and growth.

Volunteer for group task

During group interviews, take the initiative to lead or contribute to a task. Be collaborative, encourage others to share their insights, and keep an eye on time management.

Navigating the Internship:

 Once you've secured the internship, take full ownership of your role. Actively engage in your duties, as your journey as an intern is not just about personal growth but also about empowering others. It's worth noting that the position is manageable and can be balanced effectively with your academic commitments.

Always remember that you are more than enough. Don't let fear hold you back from embracing opportunities. The only thing standing between you and your greatness is that fear. Cast it aside and step boldly into the world of possibilities.

Your journey at ALU is not just about the destination; it's about the remarkable growth and transformation that happen along the way. Embrace each moment, and your time as an intern will become a testament to your personal and professional evolution.

“You do not have to be fearless, just don’t late fear hold you back.” 

Title: Adulting 101: Navigating the Journey of Adulthood with Confidence

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities of adulthood? Perhaps you're struggling to balance your finances, maintain healthy relationships, and discover your true self in this fast-paced world. Don't worry; you're not alone! Many of us find ourselves in the same boat. Welcome to "Adulting 101," your comprehensive guide to mastering the art of being a grown-up with confidence and grace.

Embracing Responsibility

Adulthood often comes with a daunting list of responsibilities, from managing your finances to maintaining your health. The key to success in this department is organization. Start by creating a budget to manage your money wisely. Track your expenses and make informed financial decisions to secure your future.

Budgeting Like a Pro

Effective budgeting is the cornerstone of financial success. To get started:

Track Your Expenses: Make a list of all your monthly expenses, from rent and bills to groceries and entertainment.

Set Financial Goals: Determine what you want to achieve with your finances, whether it's saving for a vacation, buying a home, or paying off debt.

Create a Budget: Allocate specific amounts to each expense category, ensuring you live within your means.

Emergency Fund: Save for unexpected expenses to avoid financial stress.

Review and Adjust: Regularly evaluate your budget to see where to improve.

Additionally, health and self-care are essential aspects of being a responsible adult. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and getting enough sleep can significantly impact your well-being. Prioritize these factors in your daily routine to maintain good physical and mental health.

Navigating Your Career

Building a successful career is a crucial part of adulting. Find your passion, set career goals, and develop a strong work ethic. Networking is also essential; don't underestimate the power of professional relationships. Attend conferences, workshops, and events to expand your network and explore new opportunities.

Managing Relationships

Healthy relationships are the cornerstone of a happy and fulfilling life. Set boundaries, respect the boundaries of others, and choose relationships that nurture your personal growth.

Self-Discovery and Personal Growth

Self-discovery is a lifelong journey, and it's never too late to start. Take time for self-reflection and self-improvement. Identify your strengths and weaknesses, and set personal development goals. Explore your passions, interests, and hobbies to discover your true self.

Building Resilience

Life can be unpredictable, and challenges are inevitable. Building resilience is a crucial skill for navigating the ups and downs of adulthood. Learn to adapt to change, overcome obstacles, and bounce back from setbacks.

While the journey into Adulthood may be challenging, it's also incredibly rewarding. Remember, you're not alone in this, and with the right mindset and the right tools, you can successfully navigate the complex world of adulthood. So, start today, and let your journey of self-discovery and personal growth begin.

Consent

I think you will agree with me that in the African context, Consent is increasingly gaining traction. A few decades ago, rarely would you ever hear about consent particularly when dealing with a person who was older than you. This reminds me of the perturbing news that hit the headlines a few years ago “sex for grades”  where university students in Nigeria & Ghana were blackmailed into having sex with their lecturers in exchange for their “good” grades.

While consent is closely linked to sexual relationships, it is essential to note that consent applies to a much broader setting especially in the contemporary world. We are living in a very interesting digital era where many young people are constantly competing for more likes, views, subscribers and even seeking to gain fame through sharing content on social media. This has pushed some of them to the extent of violating other people’s personal privacy & spaces in attempts to entertain their viewers and remain competitive.

I recently came across the video of this Kenyan content creator on Tiktok who goes around doing some social tests. He takes videos of ordinary citizens while testing their generosity and sharing those videos in his social media accounts. In this particular video he visited one of the markets in Nairobi and was begging the greengrocers to give him some fruits free of charge while filming them. Six declined to help him but the seventh one agreed. So the guy shared this video online emphasizing how a majority of them refused to help him and I couldn’t help but wonder if he sought their consent before plastering their images on social media.

Using someone’s image, voice or even name without their consent, is illegal in some countries like France. This is irrespective of the number of people appearing in the photograph or video, nor whether it was taken in public or private areas. In Kenya, the constitution provides the legal basis for protecting one's image. It is therefore essential that we understand the importance of consent and respecting other people's boundaries.

So what is consent?

It is an informed agreement or permission allowing someone or entity to engage in a particular activity. This implies that there is a mutual understanding between all parties involved signaling a voluntary, and conscious decision. It is therefore underpinned by the following principles;

Freely given: Consent is an individual's decision which should be given without coercion, manipulation or pressure. It is therefore important to create an enabling environment where people feel free to express their desires or boundaries.

Informed: Consent should only be given when all parties involved are cognizant of the nature of the activity and the implications. It is therefore paramount that information pertaining to the expectations, limitations and other vital details of the activity are clearly articulated.

Enthusiastic : It is important that the person seeking consent pays close attention to nonverbal cues such as body language which are considered vital in gauging one’s sincerity of consent. This is particularly so as someone may feel obliged to consent due to power dynamics or even cultural beliefs.

However, it's of great importance to note that even though these principles form the bedrock for consent, there are special circumstances where consent can not be given and if it is given, it may be considered invalid. These include but are not limited to; in the event that the ‘consent’ is given by a minor (below the legal age required), ‘consent’ is given by someone who is under the influence of alcohol and other drugs or is not in the right state of mind. As we continue embracing the diversity that life has to offer, let's remember to seek consent while creating safe spaces where other people can feel respected and valued.

Title: Adulting 101

Growing up, I was taught and led to believe that the lives of adults are simple and you just have to wait until you get there. I couldn't wait to be an adult; I longed for a simple and happy life. Childhood felt like prison, with limited independence; my career and education decisions were made for me by teachers and parents. I didn't know anything about budgeting and saving for the future. Relationships were keenly monitored and regulated by teachers and parents, and I couldn't get myself a single girlfriend while my friends were having multiple. Little did I know that adulthood is a multifaceted journey marked by shifts in responsibilities, accountability, independence and mindset.

Years have flown so fast, and all those wants I had as a kid have come to pass. The lie I bought into today has become my regret. Budgeting and saving have become crucial lest I want to get kicked out by my landlord or sleep hungry. Getting and maintaining a healthy relationship is hectic and more complex than I thought. I am compelled to make decisions of sound mind regarding my career and education. The fear of making a mistake in my decision-making, which could be detrimental to my future, is eating me slowly every day. Teachers used to punish me if I were to fail an exam. Today, there is no one to punish me, and this shocks me. Personal development has become my sole responsibility. Learning to manage stress, cope with challenges, and maintain mental and physical well-being has become critical. The shift into adulthood has demanded my understanding of my legal rights and responsibilities, such as voting, knowledge of the law and contributing to the meaningful development of the society. Some basic house chores, such as cooking and cleaning the house, have become my endless source of struggle. I regret ever taking my mom's cooking for granted.

Transitioning into adulthood has taught me so many crucial lessons; I wish someone had sat me down and prepared me in advance while I was still a kid. First, the transition into adulthood is a gradual process influenced by individual experiences, cultural context and, of course, societal expectations. Along the way, you fall and have to rise and grow from those encounters. It is a continuous journey of self-discovery which must and should be embraced. Encumbrances await you like a hungry lion ready to devour a gazelle. However, one must be strong and march forward like a soldier.

Welcome to the thrilling adventure called uni life—a ride filled with late-night study sessions, epic parties, and the quest for lifelong friendships. As the journey through University is undoubtedly exciting, it's essential to navigate the twists and turns responsibly. In this rollercoaster of experiences, one challenge that we all face is the temptation of drug and substance abuse. But fear not! I am here to give you a way out without losing sight of the ultimate goal: a Degree on one hand and unforgettable memories on the other.

“The Freshman Fiasco”

Ah, the first year of Uni—the time when everything is new, and you're just a tiny fish in a vast ocean of possibilities. It's easy to get caught up in the excitement, but remember, there's more to life than just the next party. Instead of diving headfirst into the unknown, take a moment to find your squad and build a support system. Trust me; a good laugh with friends beats a substance-induced haze any day!

 "Cracking the Code of Peer Pressure"

As you journey through university, you'll inevitably encounter the mysterious force known as peer pressure. It's like a sneaky ninja that tries to convince you to do things you might regret. But here's the secret weapon against it: Confidence. Stand tall, embrace your choices, and don't be afraid to say "no" when needed. Your true friends will respect your decisions, and you'll win in the battle against the peer pressure monster!

"The Study High: Myth or Reality?"

Let's face it—college is not just about fun and games; there's also the matter of those dreaded summatives and deadlines. Some students believe that substances can enhance their academic performance, but here comes the truth, that's a myth. Instead of relying on shortcuts, develop solid study habits, explore campus resources, and tap into your inner genius. You'll be amazed at what you can achieve with a clear mind and a strong work ethic.

“Party Like a Pro"

I get it—parties are a quintessential part of the uni experience. But there's a fine line between a memorable night and a hazy blur of bad decisions(let's not even mention the hangover that comes after). Stay in control by setting limits, knowing your tolerance, and having a designated buddy to watch your back. Remember, the best stories are the ones you can actually remember the next day!

"Mind-Blowing Alternatives"

Who needs substances when you can experience natural highs that last a lifetime? Explore the thrill of trying new hobbies, engaging in sports, and volunteering for causes you're passionate about. The rush you get from conquering a new challenge or making a positive impact far exceeds any temporary high.

So there you have it—the ultimate guide to steering clear of the substance abuse abyss. University is a wild ride, and I want you to enjoy every moment of it with a clear head, a strong heart, and a smile that lights up the room. Remember, the real adventure is in the memories you create, not in the substances you consume. So buckle up, enjoy the ride, and make your uni experience the stuff of legends!

Hey there! So, I recently joined the African Leadership University (ALU), and let me tell you, it's been an eye-opener, especially when it comes to the whole wellness vibe they've got going on. Honestly, I came here thinking I’d just be grinding through courses, maybe make a few friends, and figure out my next career move. But ALU? They're on a whole different level with this wellness thing, and it’s pretty cool.

Wellness Isn’t Just a Buzzword Here; From day one, it was clear that ALU isn’t just about cramming for exams or ticking boxes off your degree checklist. They're all about making sure you’re good not just in the brain department but emotionally, physically, and socially too. It's a big deal here, and they weave it into pretty much everything they do.

So, they introduced us to this place called the Wellness Center. It sounds kinda fancy, but it’s essentially this department that helps you make sure you’re keeping all parts of your life in check—mind, body, soul, the works. It’s split into sections like physical, emotional, social, intellectual, and spiritual wellness. Each piece of the pie is a reminder not to let any part of your well-being slip through the cracks.

Then there’s the whole emotional wellness scene. It’s pretty refreshing, actually. There’s a big focus on mental health, managing stress, and just dealing with the rollercoaster that is college life. They’ve got peer counsellors( personally, that's my fav), and sessions that tackle everything from consent to anxiety. It’s all about keeping that mental and emotional balance, which, let’s be honest, is pretty crucial.

And can we talk about social wellness for a sec? ALU is big on community, and they make it super easy to find your people. There are clubs, events, and social gatherings for just about every interest under the sun. It’s like they’re saying, “Hey, finding your squad is part of staying well, too.” And it’s true. Having folks to laugh, vent, and just hang with makes all the difference.

Of course, it’s not all meditation and socializing. There’s a serious side to wellness, keeping that brain in shape. ALU pushes us to think critically, be creative, and stay curious. Classes aren’t just lectures; they’re debates, projects, and real-world problem-solving gigs. Plus, there’s a ton of workshops and talks on stuff like leadership, innovation, and whatever else you’re into.

Lastly, spiritual wellness is a pretty open-ended part of the wheel. Whether you’re religious, spiritual, or just into finding your inner peace, there’s space for that. It’s more about connecting with your values and finding a sense of purpose, which honestly, is a pretty cool way to round out the whole wellness journey.

So, yeah, ALU’s take on wellness is pretty comprehensive. It’s not just about acing tests or getting that degree; it’s about coming out as a well-rounded, well-adjusted human ready to take on the world. And in this crazy, non-stop world, that’s a pretty big deal. Here’s to staying well, in all the ways that matter. 

Navigating university life presents a unique blend of challenges and opportunities, especially when it comes to managing relationships and understanding sex education. Think of university as a crash course in life skills, where lessons in communication, respect, and balance are crucial for successful relationship management. Communicating openly, respecting your partner’s autonomy, and finding a healthy balance between your relationship and other life commitments are key elements for thriving interpersonal connections.

Simultaneously, university may be your first encounter with in-depth sex education, moving beyond the basics to encompass safety, consent, and emotional well-being. Knowledge about sexual health, practicing safe sex, and engaging in open conversations about desires and boundaries with your partner are foundational for a respectful and fulfilling sexual relationship.

Both relationship management and sex education in university are about more than just making it through; they're about laying the groundwork for respectful, informed, and healthy interactions in all areas of life. By approaching these topics with honesty, openness, and a willingness to learn, students can navigate their university years with confidence, making the most of this pivotal time in personal growth and self-discovery. This journey through university is not just about academic achievements but also about developing the skills to thrive in the complex world of personal relationships and sexual health.

A Journey Towards Personal Fulfillment

In today’s fast-paced world, where distractions abound, and the pressure is overwhelming and constantly weighing on our shoulders, it’s easy to lose sight of ourselves in the face of chaos. However, as we tackle these challenging moments, there lies a very powerful tool for personal growth and fulfilment: self-awareness. In the following sections of this blog, we will delve into the deepest depths of self-awareness and look at it’s significance, gains and practical methodologies for harnessing it in our daily lives..

Embracing Self-Awareness

To me, self-awareness transcends the mere acknowledgement of one's existence; it embodies an intimate understanding of our inner landscape—our thoughts, emotions, and actions in relation to the world around us. It comprises the intricate tapestry of emotional, social, and cognitive awareness, each thread weaving a narrative of our being.

The Jewel of Self-Discovery

My journey towards self-awareness has been a tapestry woven with threads of introspection and revelation. It's been a journey marked by moments of vulnerability, where I confronted uncomfortable truths about myself and moments of sheer revelation, where hidden facets of my identity came to light. Through it all, I've realised that self-awareness isn't a destination but a continuous expedition of growth and understanding.

Tools of Illumination

In my quest for self-awareness, I've found solace and insight in various practices. For me, mindfulness isn't just a buzzword but a lifeline—a sanctuary where I can peel back the layers of my consciousness and delve into the depths of my soul. Journaling has been my faithful companion, a mirror reflecting my innermost thoughts and emotions. And in the wisdom of trusted mentors and friends, I've discovered invaluable mirrors that reveal blind spots I might have overlooked.

A Call to Journey Together

As I stand at this juncture of my expedition, I extend an invitation to fellow seekers of self-awareness. Let us pause, not just to reflect but to connect—to share our triumphs, struggles, and the myriad ways we navigate the labyrinth of self-discovery. In our collective journey, we find strength, support, and the courage to embrace our true selves fully.

In a world that often threatens to drown out our inner voices, self-awareness emerges as a guiding star—a beacon that illuminates the path to authenticity and fulfilment. May we embark on this odyssey together, with open hearts and minds, forging a community bound by the shared pursuit of self-knowledge and personal growth.